Patrizia Elisabeth Schwartz (nee Hoven)
a.k.a. Trys or Trixi
Born 18 January 1970, in Bergish Gladbach, Köln, Germany. We immigrated to South Africa in October 1975.
I started school in Vanderbijlpark where we lived until my parent's divorce. Our parents were hardly ever home. I spent my entire life trying to achieve so I could be accepted, by others, family and friends alike. In doing this I had lost my own identity and developed an immense fear of rejection. I felt that if I didn't perform, I would not be accepted, and nobody would love me. Being loved to me meant having to be the best at everything I did. Nothing less would ever be good enough. I would do almost anything to be loved and accepted by others. Somehow I could never understand how God could love me so unconditionally, like a parent loved a child, because I never knew had never received that kind of love from my own parents.
In 1981 my brother, Stefan and I moved to Port Elizabeth with our mother where she met and married my stepfather, Hubert. On the 23rd January 1983 my little sister, Susi was born. Suddenly things changed at home. He now had his own daughter and I felt no longer important. For me this meant some more rejection because suddenly I could do nothing right. Hubert was transferred to Johannesburg and we moved to Roodepoort in 1984. My brother and I were sent to boarding school in Lichtenburg to finish our matric year due to endless troubles at home.
After I finished High school I moved to Cape Town to live with a family that loved and accepted me for who I was. I spent a year at a Bible school where I learnt to know accepted Jesus Christ into my life and learnt to know God for who He really was, a Father that loved me NO MATTER WHAT. It took me many years to realize that even if my father and mother had forsaken me, God would NEVER leave me. I needn't come first in athletics and I didn't have to be the best in anything else for Him to love me. He loved me, even with my failures.
Yet still, it would take me many years to accept that unconditional love without questioning my own shortcomings. Many years of hurt and anguish were still to follow in my walk with Jesus, as the healing process had only just begun. I still had to learn to deal with all my fears, let God heal the heartaches and learn to forgive all those people that I so much wanted to hate for all the pain they caused me.
I started my working career on 1st June 1989 at Sanlam Unit Trusts in Cape Town as an admin assistant. I lived at Sanlam's hostel where, after two failed engagements, I met my husband, Clive. We were transferred to Johannesburg at the end of September 1994 and have been residing here since.
I have since left Sanlam and have had a few different jobs and worked myself up the ranks from Admin Assistant to Secretary and am currently employed as a Personal Assistant at a very small Air Charter company.
Today, more than ten years later, I can testify that God has healed my broken heart. He has taught me forgiveness, so much so, that I can love those people who through these years had caused me all the pain. He has carried me through the deep waters and I can testify about His everlasting Love. Nothing that happens in my life can bear me down, because of the knowledge that I have that He will carry me through, as he has even before I knew and accepted Him into my life. He has filled me with His love, joy and peace that surpasses all understanding. Nothing can separate me from the Love of Jesus.
This being the main reason behind this website. I know there are millions out there that are experiencing the same heartaches, and I trust that they will find encouragement through my testimony, and learn to hold on to the UNCONDITIONAL LOVE OF GOD.
Last Updated: 1999
Interests:
- Computer Programs
- Poetry
Websites:
Hobbies:
- Reading
- Creating my own Greeting Cards
- Writing poems
- Web Design
Last Updated: 26 May 1999
Born 18 January 1970, in Bergish Gladbach, Köln, Germany. We immigrated to South Africa in October 1975.
I started school in Vanderbijlpark where we lived until my parent's divorce. Our parents were hardly ever home. I spent my entire life trying to achieve so I could be accepted, by others, family and friends alike. In doing this I had lost my own identity and developed an immense fear of rejection. I felt that if I didn't perform, I would not be accepted, and nobody would love me. Being loved to me meant having to be the best at everything I did. Nothing less would ever be good enough. I would do almost anything to be loved and accepted by others. Somehow I could never understand how God could love me so unconditionally, like a parent loved a child, because I never knew had never received that kind of love from my own parents.
In 1981 my brother, Stefan and I moved to Port Elizabeth with our mother where she met and married my stepfather, Hubert. On the 23rd January 1983 my little sister, Susi was born. Suddenly things changed at home. He now had his own daughter and I felt no longer important. For me this meant some more rejection because suddenly I could do nothing right. Hubert was transferred to Johannesburg and we moved to Roodepoort in 1984. My brother and I were sent to boarding school in Lichtenburg to finish our matric year due to endless troubles at home.
After I finished High school I moved to Cape Town to live with a family that loved and accepted me for who I was. I spent a year at a Bible school where I learnt to know accepted Jesus Christ into my life and learnt to know God for who He really was, a Father that loved me NO MATTER WHAT. It took me many years to realize that even if my father and mother had forsaken me, God would NEVER leave me. I needn't come first in athletics and I didn't have to be the best in anything else for Him to love me. He loved me, even with my failures.
Yet still, it would take me many years to accept that unconditional love without questioning my own shortcomings. Many years of hurt and anguish were still to follow in my walk with Jesus, as the healing process had only just begun. I still had to learn to deal with all my fears, let God heal the heartaches and learn to forgive all those people that I so much wanted to hate for all the pain they caused me.
I started my working career on 1st June 1989 at Sanlam Unit Trusts in Cape Town as an admin assistant. I lived at Sanlam's hostel where, after two failed engagements, I met my husband, Clive. We were transferred to Johannesburg at the end of September 1994 and have been residing here since.
I have since left Sanlam and have had a few different jobs and worked myself up the ranks from Admin Assistant to Secretary and am currently employed as a Personal Assistant at a very small Air Charter company.
Today, more than ten years later, I can testify that God has healed my broken heart. He has taught me forgiveness, so much so, that I can love those people who through these years had caused me all the pain. He has carried me through the deep waters and I can testify about His everlasting Love. Nothing that happens in my life can bear me down, because of the knowledge that I have that He will carry me through, as he has even before I knew and accepted Him into my life. He has filled me with His love, joy and peace that surpasses all understanding. Nothing can separate me from the Love of Jesus.
This being the main reason behind this website. I know there are millions out there that are experiencing the same heartaches, and I trust that they will find encouragement through my testimony, and learn to hold on to the UNCONDITIONAL LOVE OF GOD.
Last Updated: 1999
- Computer Programs
- Poetry
